All right, we wont chase you out for the holidays. Make three spare bedrooms my sisters and my niece will stay over. Youll spend the night in the kitchen.
Mrs. Agnes, and what if Im the sole owner of this house? I have the title deeds to prove it. So dont even think about breaking in the police will have you out on the street.
It was a chilly Thursday after work and Valerie was about to swing by the town centre for some earlyChristmas shopping. In two weeks, the New Year would be knocking. An old schoolfriend, Eleanor, had invited her over.
Valerie knew the guest list would be a proper crowd: Eleanors daughter with her husband and kids, Eleanors sister, and her niece a university student.
Shed been to Eleanors flat a great many times and knew everyone by name, so she decided to buy the presents in advance.
Choosing gifts was Valeries forte; handing them out was her delight. Already she could picture herself drifting through aisles glittering with tinsel, eyeing trinkets, watching the shop assistant wrap a purchase in shiny paper.
Her good mood evaporated the moment she stepped out onto the car park. Waiting by her hatchback was Rita the sister of her former husband.
Val, hello! greeted Rita, teeth chattering. What took you so long? Im practically turning into an icicle.
Good afternoon, Rita. I wasnt expecting to see you here.
Why not? Were family, after all, she replied. At least weve been called that for twenty years.
Thankfully, were not any longer, Valerie said, reaching for the car door.
Rita held her back.
Listen, Val, Ive got a favour to ask. Actually, its a family favour.
What family? I havent spoken to yours in a year, so Im not taking any requests, Valerie snapped.
No, just hear me out. I dont know how you and Michael split the assets, but mum still thinks the house you live in belongs to our side.
You bought it with Mickey, and he spent ten years fixing it up. We all celebrated New Years and May Day there as a family. And now what?
Mum planned to host her birthday in May, gathering the whole clan on the veranda, just like we always did. But you shut us out and drove off to whoknowswhere.
I dont get why youre telling me all this, Valerie said. I was just visiting a friend, thought I could pop over and leave. Sorry, I must have forgotten to ask you.
And forget about having your family gatherings in my house. When Mickey and I split, we agreed: apartment, car and garage to him, the house to me. We signed everything officially. So now you can all meet in Michaels flat. Thats it.
Val, mum asked if we could use the house on the 31st, like old times. A lot of people will turn up well have nowhere to fit the whole clan, Rita implored.
Mrs. Agnes really? After twenty years of her nagging me, she finally asks for a favour? Tell her Im not having it. Book the family a hotel instead.
Valerie slipped back into her car. The thought of hunting for gifts vanished. Ill shop tomorrow, she muttered, and drove home.
She and Michael had been together for almost twenty years. Theyd bought the house ten years ago.
A year earlier Michael had declared, At fortyfive life isnt over yet, and announced hed build a future with his charming young secretary.
Valerie didnt try to hold him back, but she also didnt let herself be pushed around. The house and the couples savings stayed with her; Michael walked off with a twobedroom flat, a used Toyota Corolla and a garage.
Since Valeries only remaining dependent was her universitygoing daughter, Michael didnt press for a joint account.
A few days earlier, Daphne called to say shed be staying in her dorm over the New Year.
Mom, will you be mad? she asked. Ill be home for the holidays.
That gave Valerie the push to accept Eleanors invitation. She knew she wouldnt be bored in that crowd.
Knowing Rita, Valerie also sensed this wasnt the end of the drama they werent going to let her off that easily. And she was right.
That same evening, her exmotherinlaw rang.
Valerie, arent you taking on too much? Youve cheekily grabbed Mickeys house and now think we cant find any trouble for you?
Fine then, well all ring in the New Year together in *my* house the one my son graciously let you stay in. Got it?
Fine, we wont kick you out for the holidays. Prepare three bedrooms my sisters and my niece will stay over. Youll sleep in the kitchen.
Mrs. Agnes, does it matter that Im the sole owner? I have the paperwork. Dont even try to get in the police will have you out.
Well see who gets the police involved! Anyway, get the rooms ready; well bring all the food, so you wont have to cook a thing. And dont argue, youll remember this New Year for the rest of your life!
In my opinion, Michaels mother has gone completely off her rocker this year, Valerie thought.
Agnes was never a peacemaker, but her latest performance impressed her former daughterinlaw. Was the old lady really hoping Valerie would cower and obey?
Once, Valerie had been the model daughterinlaw; the other two had eventually accepted the motherinlaws authority. Now, after the divorce, Agness words only left Valerie puzzled: what were they counting on?
Meanwhile, a plan was brewing in Agness flat.
Rita, you and Oliver are in charge of groceries. Buy everything you can, ahead of time. Well be cooking on the 31st evening and the 1st morning.
Well handle the cold cuts and hot dishes. Susan and Olivia will do the salads. Well pack everything in containers, and well borrow two sets of dishes from Val I hear she still has them. Michael didnt take any when he moved out.
Mom, what if she refuses to let us in? asked Rita.
Let her try! Well be twelve people the whole family. Shell be mortified. Imagine it: she opens the door and on the porch stand Uncle Kevin, Aunt Lucy, Len and Natalie, and the rest. Shell have to let us in, help set the table, and everything.
On the evening of the 31st, at nine oclock, four cars pulled up in front of number14 East Street.
Strange, said Oliver, Ritas husband. The lights are off. Maybe Valerie isnt home?
Where would she be? Shes at home. And Daphne must have arrived. Theyre probably hiding, watching us, giggled Agnes. Ring the bell.
No one answered, and the door remained shut.
I have the keys, Agnes announced. I figured Val might try something, so I grabbed a spare.
She unlocked the gate and the whole troupe marched into the courtyard.
Hold on, Ill open the front. Lights on, bring everything into the kitchen well set the table in a jiffy. And let Val hide if she wishes; we wont be inviting her to the feast.
About twenty minutes later a clamor erupted down the hallway.
The lady of the house has arrived, declared Oliver.
But it wasnt her.
Valerie, meanwhile, was helping Eleanor set the table; the guests were due any minute.
Suddenly her phone rang.
Valerie Thompson? Your alarm system has been triggered. The patrol unit is on the way.
There are twelve people here, all claiming to be my relatives and saying they have permission to be inside.
I never gave anyone permission. It must be the family of my exhusband. I didnt invite them. They broke in on their own.
Will you be filing a report?
Of course. Im out of town and wont be back until the day after tomorrow.
The uninvited crowd was escorted to the police station for a few hours. By the time they reached Agness flat, the salads were already spilling, and the hot dishes had gone lukewarm.
When Valerie finally got back home, her exhusband called, demanding she file the police report.
Val, didnt you change the lock? Didnt you see it coming? he asked.
I didnt change it why would I ruin the door? I just put a new deadbolt on and use it, she replied.
And why lock it with the old key when you left?
I figured your mum would never be satisfied and would show up with her crew you shouldve heard how she talked to me. I didnt want the uninvited guests to break the door.
So you deliberately locked the old lock, which mum had a key to, and set the alarm? You provoked them! You wanted them caught?
Mickey, your family had a choice they could have spent New Years at their own place. They chose otherwise, so they ended up at the police station. Im not to blame.
By the way, I had to tidy up the flat after them, air it out the food theyd already set out was a bit spoiled by the time I got back.
Why didnt you warn Rita about the alarm? Michael asked.
Why not? There are signs on the gate and door that say Protected by Police. Everyone reads them.
Anyway, pass my regards to your mum, Rita, Oliver and everyone else, and tell them Im not expecting them back at my house again.
This time Ill file the report, but it wont happen again. The law will be applied in full
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